Saturday, May 30, 2009

Bing - 3 Strikes Microsoft is Out!

First there was MSN search, it failed, then Live search was born, it also failed, and now raising from the smoke of two of the most expensive search engine screwups of all time comes the great BING (but it’s not Google) search engine. Yes friends, Microsoft is making yet another attempt to enter the search engine arena. Historically the Microsoft Search Engine and their Visual Studio Data Access Technology have a long standing common thread, they suck!

Looking into the future without having to even use the product, only watching the demo, Bing is going to be next in line to crawl into the bowels of cybernothingness.

You might be thinking to yourself Mark the product hasn’t even been released yet how can you make such a harsh pessimistic assessment that Bing is the sound the search engine is going to make as it hits the side wall of the garbage can. There are many reasons that I will once again be correct as usual.

First off, unlike in the development tool arena where Microsoft could purchase as many development tools as possible that were better then visual studio and then issue their end of life so developers were forced to use that piece of shit - ass licking - bloated - sucks worse then a vacation in Iraq - smellier then a India defaction pool in the middle of summer - development environment known as the .NET framework and Visual Studio. Thank heaven Microsoft is not able to buy it’s competitors, Yahoo or Google, so MSFT must innovate which it is completely unable to do. If you doubt this is true look at Vista, this was Microsoft's attempt to NOT copy the MAC OS in full and we all know what a great success that OS was.

Second, Microsoft isn’t capable of doing anything that is not bloated. The beauty of Google, besides the solid result set, is Google is simple to use !

Third, there is a large market segment that absolutely hates Microsoft besides the fact Microsoft is viewed as UNCOOL. These people will never use anything Microsoft related. The reason for their hate is more then justified let’s face it Microsoft's products suck and make everyone’s job harder, worse yet Microsoft could care less and continues on the path of never ending learning curve to make us less productive !

As a footnote below are some interesting facts about India from Remember India is where Microsoft has 2 huge campuses and according to minimicrosoft India is where the .SUCK framework is developed. This Microsoft job exportation was due in large part to my good friend Soma!

* Indians leave about 100,000 tons of shit in the open every day, in the fields, on the river banks and in the middle of the biggest cities.

* About 665 million Indians shit in public or engage in open defecation (to use a euphemism), that’s half the world’s 1.2 billion who let go in public. [WOW while it is close but it looks as if more people in India dump the truck in public then there are classes in .NET4.]

* Each gram of feces contains millions of harmful bacteria and viruses and a thousand parasite cysts. [Ironically isn't this almost the same number of viruses that infected PC'S through Microsoft's pathetic Internet Explorer security model and bugs last year?]

* Over 37% of the total human excreta generated in urban India is unsafely disposed, according to the National Urban Sanitation Policy document prepared by India’s Ministry of Urban Development

* According to the 11th Five-Year plan document, of the 200 million dwelling units across India, only 40 million dwelling units have a toilet inside the house. Only 61% households in urban areas and 17% households in rural areas have access to improved sanitation. [I wonder how many of the people listed in the stats above work for Microsoft and even more interesting to know the number that are programmers working on MVC, WPF, Silverlight, Visual Studio and .BLOAT. I could be mistaken but the person pictured looks a lot like the .NET 4 lead programmer enjoying his break after coding for 50 cents an hour !]

* 12.04 million urban households do not have access to latrines and defecate in the open. [I think this is just about the same number of people that get sick after realizing they spent their hard earned money on Vista and Visual Studio]

* The Government of India acknowledges that lack of covered toilets nearby imposes a severe hardship on women and girls and yet does little. [I wish Microsoft would acknowledge the severe hardship caused by Visual Studio and .NET for developers. Like the Government of India, Microsoft does little to improve the situation.]

* The ultimate indignity of having to do it in the open. [Can this be equated to smart people that work at Microsoft that really need their job and have to advocate and spin .NET and Visual Studio as being productive?]

Aren't we glad India is the technology capital of the world ! Thanks SOMA without your efforts perhaps none of this would be possible and we might actually have a solid development tools like VS 6, VB and VFP better yet life without .BLOAT !

Until next time avoid bing and VS 2010 beta.

By the way I have joined facebook please look me up I would like to hear from you.

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